Brutally aware of what codependency is all about, I need to contend with what the following two quotes DO NOT mean, so that those who would benefit from them won’t go astray. The counterfeit and the true currency are nearly identical. One is worth the whole, the other wholly worthless.
A river doesn’t need water, and others benefiting from its wet, do not deplete it. When a tree casts its fruit, the consumption of it does nothing to deplete the tree.
If your gift to the world depletes you, is it good? If you give away what you yourself need to survive, then soon you and the one you are ‘helping’ will both be in need of help.
But also, my wife and children, and parents, are my primary responsibility. The needs of others are blessed by the overflow. My wife, Cheryl and my son, Ashton, reach out the world around us united in our hearts and effort.
The one who suffers the consequences of their own actions are said to be ‘paying their own price’ and they will therefore tally up the credits and debits and learn to be frugal. No need to be frugal with the resources of another person, for their are millions of people to leach from.
Abraham Maslow “Towards a Psychology of Being” says that only one who has truly come to know and understand themselves. You have to be selfish before you can transcend that same self.
The Bible says,
“And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ That is Matthew chapter 22 verse 39, the verses before it holds the vital key,
“Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.”
That’s what Bonhoeffer and Pope Francis are talking about.
Nothing in nature lives for itself. The rivers do not drink their own water; the trees do not eat their own fruit; the sun does not shine on itself and flowers do not spread their fragrance for themselves. Living for others is a rule of nature. We are all born to help each other. No matter how difficult it is…Life is good when you are happy; but much better when others are happy because of you.
Pope Francis
Fruit is always the miraculous, the created; it is never the result of willing, but always a growth. The fruit of the Spirit is a gift of God, and only He can produce it. They who bear it know as little about it as the tree knows of its fruit. They know only the power of Him on whom their life depends —
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, “The Cost of Discipleship”
Running Down Vimy 