Feelings

“We think that if we don’t feel something there can be no authenticity in doing it. But the wisdom of God says something different: that we can act ourselves into a new way of feeling much quicker than we can feel ourselves into a new way of acting. Worship is an act that develops feelings for God, not a feeling for God that is expressed in an act of worship. When we obey the command to praise God in worship, our deep, essential need to be in relationship with God is nurtured.” A Long Obedience in One Direction – Eugene Peterson

I read this quote to some friends the other day, and one of them responded saying, “But our faith isn’t about feelings.”

And that is a good clarification. My point, however, was about what to do when we are enticed.

“but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” ‭‭James‬ ‭1:14-15‬ ‭NIV

Advertisers tell us how their product will make us feel. They are selling the feeling, and to get that feeling we have to buy their stuff. In James 1:14-15 I read that there is an already existing desire within me, and Satan would use that to entice me. The idea that I am “dragged away” is telling me something, also. I don’t want it? not all of me wants it? There’s a battle we all know. Somewhere inside of us, we know we “ought not”.

‬‬Currently in my retirement I know he’s been leading me here. But my desire to have the tangible security I once had isn’t there anymore. What I do have is different. My feelings, now I have talked about them before as anxieties. I woke up this morning with non-specific feelings. Deciding where those feelings are coming from, and thereby assigning meaning to them is where I can get messed up. Moving forward with my day, is obedience, in the absence of feeling. I know that laying in bed all day will yield all kinds of trouble to me.

Here are my theme verses of late, the verses which God is constantly teaching me about,

“We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭5:11-14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

So there is another, great work, in all of this. It is that in the same heart that feelings lay, there is a knowing. Knowing that everything is not up to me. I’m not the centre of the universe.

The next thing that comes to mind as I read this over is that any adventure brought about through following my feelings, may merely be a distraction. Something to keep me away from what God has for me. And when I’m listening to God, through his word, both in my heart and on the pages I can open, I am sometimes brought outside of myself, to actually benefit others. For my actions to be about loving those around me.