When I grew up in Winnipeg, Manitoba. I can go more deeply into that time of my life, but here is a fellow that fits into my discussion today.

In high school I led a Bible Study that my older brother John had started, he is born in 1959, and I in 1962. It was part of the ministry of Intervarsity Christian Fellowship.

So the group was a Christian, bible, evangelical based, but there were many denominations represented there. Of course now, looking back, I realize being children of parents who took us to those churches is different from folks who are at a church as adults if you know what I mean? But because they chose to spend a lunch hour once a week, in a classroom at our high school, that showed a next level up from kids who just went to church because their parents did?

I was young, and didn’t know so much of what I know now, and now that I am 63 the saying, the more I know, the more I realize how little I know.

So… I’ll move onto the Ken Peter’s story now… we were in the basement of his house. Its significant to mention that there was Mennonites, Baptists, United, Lutherns there, as well as myself, the only Pentecostal.

I had us all join hands for prayer, and we bowed our heads, closed our eyes, and I prayed. It quickly became a “lost in prayer” prayer. One which in my church culture was the norm, when in the prayer room. It was a shouting out the devil, weeping, nose running, eyes clenched tightly shut, soul searching prayer…

When I said AMEN, and opened my eyes, my nose running, tears splashed on my cheeks and shirt… and saw the what I thought was wide eyed terror on all their faces, I felt awkward, to say the least.

Over the years that memory has been a cringe moment for me. I felt embarrassment, and many times have just shook my head with a live and learn to do better next time kind of attitude.

Years later, and this is where you need to know the Hell I was going through at that time of my life back in 1995-1996 range…

Jail Time

My first marriage had folded, and I was living on a foam mattress in my brother Andrew’s extra room. And by extra room I mean he had a flat near the corner of Burrard and Fourth Avenue in Vancouver, BC. It consisted of a 15 foot wide kitchen, that was maybe 25 feet deep. Off to the left were two doorways, that led to a space equal to the kitchen, but half and half. The doorways had no doors, just loosely hung curtains. On the end of the kitchen, on the left hand side was a doorway to a bathroom, that exactly fit a full bath tub/shower, a toilet at the far right end, and across from the bathtub a sink and mirror, and about a 3 foot path down the middle. It was a tiny place, yeah?

I remember being there, hoodwinked into “staying at my brother’s for a few days, while my wife and I calmed down after lots of fighting… but in the meantime she went to legal aid… and declared herself as an abandoned wife, with 4 children to feed, and no money… and like that… and so… she was seeking a divorce, child and spousal support…

The night of the day she’s done this, she confided in me somewhat that she was doing this, and that it was “to teach you a lesson” and that if I didn’t fight back… just accepted what she did… we’d be back together, living in Abbotsford once again, with our four children. “Just let it happen” was her word to me, I’ve often used that horrid phrase in a bitter joke about what a man says to another man he is violating, “just let it happen”

Well, I let it happen, and found myself served with papers to appear in court, for the bitter beginning of a divorce…

I remember crying myself to sleep on that bare mattress. I was working fulltime as a Bus Driver for BC Transit… and there were kleenix’s all around my bed in the morning, I’d go to work on my shift that was from 12-8 pm, and then cry myself to sleep, wake up, cry til I went to work, and do it again. I felt utterly lost and alone… I had lost my whole life.

My beliefs at the time were frozen in the idea that a divorced man could have no ministry hopes. I’d resented having children and a wife, that held me back from being fulltime in ministry… and now that they were gone, I didn’t care anything about any of that… I just wanted back into JAIL… the tormented experience I’d had for the 12 years of marriage between 1983 and 1995.

…an aside here. I had an absolutely empty place inside… and my ex-wife had restraining orders preventing me from being with them unsupervised… having painted me as an abusive, dangerous man in court… and then calling me to come take the kids off her hands to give her a break… and if I stepped out of line in anyway, she’d revoke that, and claim I’d carted the children off on my own, and have me arrested. Right or wrong, I picked them up, and took them bowling. It was there in the bowling alley that that emptiness disappeared. And I realized it was these 4 children that floated my boat, and that she was so over for me.

So… if you’d like more describing of how miserable and desperate I was at that period of my life… let me know, I’ll try to fill in the blanks a little more.

Well, I remember there was a knock on the door of that place of Andrew’s an in walked Ken Peters. He’d gone to Bible College with my brother Andrew, years before, and I’d known that. But as he entered, he looked at me… I don’t know for sure, I was pretty much in the same shape as that time in his basement, bleary eyed, nose running, tear stained shirt… he pointed at me and told me boldly, succinctly…

“Laurence, YOU are the reason I’m a pastor!”

I blinked maybe, and begged to know what he meant by that.

He recalled that prayer time, and he said that when we parted that day, his prayer was that God would give him that fire in his own heart, that he’d seen in me!

When I remind him of that these days now that so much healing has taken place, he told me that the visit to Andrew’s was by a discouraged pastor, wondering how he, or why he… he was at a turning point kind of moment, and when he walked in that door, seeing the broken Laurence (my interpretation of what he saw) cuz he said, when he saw me, the WHAT FOR of all he’d been doing suddenly came flowing back into place.

For me in that moment, God ministered to me. A quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s “The Cost of Discipleship” comes to mind here, that a tree is not aware of its fruit.

The idea being that John 15 explains the process of abiding in him, and his abiding in us… we are apart of one another (I’m talking about Jesus & Me) but I’m also saying that each of us are members of one another.

Take off your shoes.

God’s truth, it’s God’s word. First off, I AM is Holy, I am not.

Moses in Exodus 3,

Then he said, “Do not come near; take your sandals off your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground.”

Exodus 3:5

Thoughts about this >

• Genesis 3:7, :21 – they clothed themselves with fig leaves, he clothes them with animal skins.
• We come to God, and stand before him, in his presence, naked feet.

God is self aware! His message is immediate! He says, “I am Holy” and by that he means to say, “you will not survive being in my presence, you need to prepare to meet me! Your clothes are inadequate, your provision for your past deeds, is inadequate!” And then he gives us our new clothes, he gives us His salvation, his righteousness, which is in and through Jesus.

I’ve been praying for you, and for all of us in this challenge. Each time I am aware I’ve crossed the line, I repent, confess, but also wonder about the how and why.

My son Ashton is awesome. We were putting a shelf together for a neighbour, very serious work 😝 and the fitting wouldn’t fit, so along comes my habit, and without even thinking I say the bad word. Ashton simply says, “no cursing dude” and suddenly I’m aware of it. I thank my brother in Christ, I contemplate.

Some scripture came to mind this morning as I drove from A to B in my school bus.

Matthew 4:11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

If we get past the temptation, it is in speaking the truth to the lies! And have any of us ever gotten to the other side, to find God filling the need, that Satan’s counterfeit has prevented us from ever tasting?

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Have we called out to God, to show us the way out?

Hebrews 12:4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

Have we been willing to suffer, real loss? Have we been willing shed our rights, our entitled things? There’s nothing sinful about the blood staying in our veins!

1 Peter 4:1 Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because whoever suffers in the body is done with sin. 2 As a result, they do not live the rest of their earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.

Peter uses the plural YOU/YOURSELVES… is this an indicator that points to what we are doing here in the Be The Man challenge? I think so!

James 5: 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Finally, when we have done with doing what we already know! Living up to the truth we have already been convinced of, we move to a maturity where God can move us to DO, and our obedience is we know the sound of his voice.

Hebrews 5:11 We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand. 12 In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! 13 Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 14 But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

Here is a strange one, but worth contemplating! Taken on! Argue about this last point! For we are the bride of Christ! What kind of wife are we?

Proverbs 21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Sin… look at Romans 14:23

²³ …and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

and James says something similar>

¹⁷ If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

James 4:17

The idea is that God wants us to know that’s it’s all spiritual, it’s all obedience. It’s all sacred and Holy! We belong to him, he owns it all! I heard about a donkey, Jesus told them to just go and take it! I am not claiming I know exactly what’s going on there! But Jesus said “…If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you untying it?’ say, ‘The Lord needs it.’”

I have called you friends…

John 15:12-17

Oh! Take a hold of this! Wrestle with this! Argue about it with your own hearts! Talk about it with me!

Take a look at this verse! Don’t miss it! He is wants us to join with him, to elevate from being babies (Hebrews 5:11-14) to running alongside of him in reaching out to those around us!

but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

Philippians 3:12-14

And this is my prayer for us each and everyone of us>

²⁵ Now to him who is able to establish you in accordance with my gospel, the message I proclaim about Jesus Christ, in keeping with the revelation of the mystery hidden for long ages past, ²⁶ but now revealed and made known through the prophetic writings by the command of the eternal God, so that all the Gentiles might come to the obedience that comes from faith— ²⁷ to the only wise God be glory forever through Jesus Christ! Amen.

Romans 16:25-27

The news media…

We first come across it in the school yard. This person is chirping away with some news about someone. Chances are their motive was NOT to enhance your life, nor the life of the one spoken about. It was selfish. Not so with God!

Lately the news media is awash with the latest news of world affairs.

It had my heart pounding as I listened.

I knew where to run! Into His strong tower!

Read Proverbs 18 oh my!

I went to the Blue Letter Bible…

David Guzik on verse 1:

A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire: To cut one’s self off from family, friends, and community is often to express a selfish desire. It shows an unwillingness to make the small (and sometimes large) sacrifices to get along with others.

If you have ever struggled with intrusive thoughts…

Listen to this song > YOU SAY <

The lyrics are <here>

Fight each lie with the truth!

You need to read and meditate on God’s word to have his word in your heart!

The Old Testament calls it THE LAW

Look at Psalm 119, David, King David is marvelling out loud to God about God’s Law.

In Exodus 25:22 God tells Moses, “I will meet you there…” and I must admit it! I must say that my first reaction was to translate it into New Testament lingo!

For we are saved by grace, not works! Right?!?

“For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5‬:‭6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

His Word! Christ Jesus! The Living Word!

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Galatians 5:13–14

So if you spend all your time listening to the media, social media, or gossip at the ole watering hole… you’re going to be in torment!

Read Psalm 119 over and over until you get it! Until the light dawns on you!

Yes! This is leading up to John 16!

Every once in a while, I get to figuring I know what God is up to ! Then a new twist comes, and it’s bewildering, until I realize he spoke about following him even when it’s dark outside!!!

“Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? Anyone who walks in the daytime will not stumble, for they see by this world’s light. It is when a person walks at night that they stumble, for they have no light.””
‭‭John‬ ‭11‬:‭9‬-‭10‬ ‭NIV

Then Thomas gave a prophetic word soon thereafter!

“Then Thomas (also known as Didymus) said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.””

John‬ ‭11‬:‭16‬ ‭NIV

“Prophetic words” put another way is, “proclaiming the truth” forth telling and sometimes its foretelling… in Thomas’s case, that day when they all walked back to witness Lazarus raised from the dead, they all lived – and later, as Thomas continued to walk by faith, he ended up in India… he was martyred! He died with Christ! So it was both/and…

in 2 Corinthians 1:1-11 you’ll see that too! Each of us, is not suffering alone! We have the comfort from our brothers and sisters in Christ! The Greek word (παρακλητος – para-clay-tos) used in these verses is translated “comfort” it means “to come alongside of”

Comfort isn’t merely “there there” (pat pat pat on the shoulders while hugging) the image in my mind is two vessels… one taking on water, floundering in the stormy waters, another vessel comes alongside, and supports while repairs are made, supplies are provided… and then both vessels can go and seek those God sends into their path.

“…who [comes alongside] of us in all our troubles, so that we can [come alongside of] those in any trouble with the [come alongsideness] we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. “

2 Corinthians 1:4-5

This word I’m setting before you in some ways seems so obvious to me right now! But it’s also just starting to dawn on me.

I pray God will make it obvious to us all. To flood our lives with HOPE in the midst of our storm. When one suffers, we all suffer!

…On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, ¹¹ as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

2 Corinthians 1:1-11

Read John 11 and see the verses in context. Let me know if you follow my logic here… in the context Jesus and his disciples left Judea:

His disciples reminded him of that fact,

“But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the Jews there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?” John 11:8

…and if we look back into chapter 10,

³¹ Again his Jewish opponents picked up stones to stone him, ³² but Jesus said to them, “I have shown you many good works from the Father. For which of these do you stone me^?”33 “We are not stoning you for any good work,” they replied, “but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God.”

³⁹ Again they tried to seize him, but he escaped their grasp.

John 10:31-33;39

It seemed obvious to the disciples what Jesus was doing, and why. They thought he’d had a brush with death, and that they and he were on the run!

But then, in John 11, Jesus is called back, and he’s actually going to go back! They expressed their confusion! (verse 8) what brought him back? His LOVE! Loving God and loving others, is another BOTH/AND…

Jesus’ word then comes right after. For the longest time I didn’t really realize how that statement fit the situation. I hope I can convey what I eventually saw.

Question> Is this world’s ‘light’ replaceable with ‘human understanding’ ?

Jesus answered, “Are not human beings limited to their own understanding? Anyone who walks in perfectly understandable contexts, will not stumble, for they see by this world’s understanding. It is when a person walks in strange circumstances that they stumble, for they don’t have a clue what’s really going on.”

That is NOT an authorized paraphrase! You get to interact with this idea! You had better do so, always!

Look at the famous verse about faith:

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.  Hebrews 11:1

Another scripture just came to mind here:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6

We’re on a roll here! Don’t give up on me just yet! Take a look at this:

They knew all the time that there is a God, yet they refused to acknowledge him as such, or to thank him for what he is or does. Thus they became fatuous in their argumentations, and plunged their silly minds still further into the dark.

Romans 1:21 JB Phillips

To ‘acknowledge him as God’ is the same as glorifying him, is the same as honouring him as God.

Are you following my logic here?

²¹ For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Romans 1:21 NIV

The disciples didn’t understand Jesus, but they did follow him, because they believed in him! Their belief gave them the power to become the children of God!

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— John 1:12

That “becoming” for them, and for us, is through walking according to faith, being obedient to his leading.

When we give up on God, we start complaining, and moaning and groaning against God! Go look up the Israelites for yourself in Exodus… you’ll find definite words about God being intentional about everything he did! He always gave Moses the reasons behind what he was going to do, and what Israel’s enemies would be doing, and how it all fit into his master plan!

Are you still with me?!?!

In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, Ephesians 1:11

God’s in charge! God knows the beginning to the end! Greater is HE !

But WHERE IS HE!?! You cry!

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

Is in you!

Now you’re ready to read John 16!

Lay down your life, quit struggling to stay alive! Instead you ought to…

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,

Philippians 2:12

We need God! Within us! In each of our hearts! And within US (see John 15) through us obediently loving one another!

One of my favourite scriptures begins with THEY:

“They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.” Revelation‬ ‭12‬:‭11‬ ‭NIV

By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that is in keeping with faith.

Hebrews 11:7 NIV

But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:

John 1:12 KJV

Thinking out loud, and being listened to, is like watching? Experiencing? The flow of water from a natural spring.

I’ve actually seen one, when I was a young lad at Red Rock Lake (summer camp for me whilst growing up)

We were on a path through the woods! And there by the trail was a little pool of water.

A good listener! Here’s something to illustrate what I mean>

Someone had obvs happened upon it before us, because there, propped up on a rock, was a PVC pipe, when we pulled it over clear, cool water flowed out! Our Sherpa let us know what it was, and we had a taste! Safe to drink!

Letting the water flow, will create a stream? I mean think about it here. Someone interfered – nicely – with nature here! Who knows what was prevented?!? A lake? A stream? A River? The river that salmon returning to spawn would be searching for?!?

If the pressure from the spring overcame gravity enough to flow out the hoisted end… it would do so, so let’s just settle down here 

That PVC pipe is what I mean when I say what I have to say about SHOULD….

A good listener is like the one who gently places the PVC pipe parallel to the earth, and lets the water flow…

Can’t live in a house of scattered bricks.

Bricks united and joined together, from the cornerstone radiating outwards glued to one another with Love! That’s the house in which God will live and abide!

Ephesians 2 YOU plural, “…ye are the building.”

In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.

Ephesians 2:22

John 15 YOU plural, “…ye are the branches.”

⁵ I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

John 15:5

Click on Memory to see the whole story… children can journal! But so can us big folks!

I was Daddy to 2 little kidds when I drew that series, on scrap paper. That’s my smart little girl Sarah in the comic there.

I would have totally forgotten this moment (maybe) without the help of this simple series!

I remember thinking I’d hidden my purchase from Sarah, but in the car, as she yummies the sucker in her mouth she says, “I’ll have the YELLOW one next”

<sigh> 🥰