As I move toward articulation. I’ve recently encouraged my son that those who take the time to listen, and understand him, are the ones that matter. Jesus recognized this, and expressed this often. In John’s gospel we read where Jesus mentions the one’s he’d been given by the Father.

The one I’ve always quoted is found in John 6:44

⁴⁴ “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day.

John 6:44

But as I’ve been writing out the Gospel of John lately, I’ve seen a few more, and been moved by them.

⁶ “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. ⁷ Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. ⁸ For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. ⁹ I pray for them. I am not praying

John 17:6-9

This springs into my mind again and again over the last couple of days. The question is, “Why worry about those who don’t pay attention to me?” Those that will not listen to me, honor me, respect me… why am I so bothered by them? Its really a question of being distracted by them.

I guess I should get things straight here. Jesus and I are two different people, aren’t we? Why would words that Jesus used about himself be applicable to me? Maybe I can explore that tangent here, and move on LOL

Let’s get back to where I tried to start here… I’m trying to get something from my heart to the page. I woke up this morning to get my oil changed, but I didn’t want to miss out on writing out the Gospel of John, which I do every morning, so when at 6:08 am I got up to use the washroom… and got back to bed, sleep had fled… and thoughts flooded my brain… and I could hear Cheryl, my hard working wife, breathing beside me… I say hard working because she’s coming with me this a.m. to get my oil changed, and her getting out of bed before 9:oo am is a task. She had to get Ashton’s breakfast ready, by “had to” I mean that’s the mother’s heart in her, that cares for her son.

The thoughts that invaded my brain, and heart were of a man I saw when we were at the Bottle Depot yesterday. It took me a moment to realize who he was, and before I could remember, he was gone… he and his friend had driven away. I looked him up on Facebook, and found his wife’s profile, Pat Koepke. He doesn’t appear to have a profile. He was once upon a time an elder at a church I attended in Richmond back many years ago. That brought back to my mind a meeting I’d had with another elder and his wife. This other elder… sorry for the lack of names here… my memory’s not that good. But the point is still within reach… I’m rambling… maybe I could get you a coffee and muffin, to keep you sitting here while I plug away… so this other elder, he’d talked to me about the Week of Prayer that was about to start, and wondered if I would be part of it at the church. I prayed about it, LOL, and met with he and his wife. It was a wonderful time. He said to me at one point, “Where have you been all these years?” While waiting for the commencement of this event, where I would be leading the prayer time, I was told by the interim pastor that they were not proceeding with it, nor me. I wondered at the miracle of God’s revelation with that couple. God’s power and presence was there with us, real and tangible. And with a single swipe of his hand the interim pastor un-did it all. Gone. A short time later that elder died, his wife re-married, and moved away. Part of what I wonder now is that it was for that man that I came to speak to them about prayer. They received my message, and were brought closer in their relationship to God, through out meeting together, in His name.

I remember particularly that I’d been reading the first chapters of Genesis for my devotions… and had been moved to tears when I read the words,

²⁸ God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

Genesis 1:28

The verses leading up to verse 28 begin with “And God said…” and by his word he created… go read it!

I cried because of the fact that God’s first example of speaking TO his creation was us, the one’s created in his image.

As I contemplate it now, I realize Jesus is the spoken word of God. In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God… John 1:1

Another image that came to mind as I was praying, and when I met with this elder and his wife, was of the church there. I imagined! I imagined all of us there, me at the front, leading the conversation, and all of them in their pews.

“Welcome everyone, I wonder if you could indulge me in a little act of worship here. If everyone here in the first row could please turn one quarter to their left, and look over at this door here. Now, the second row, way over there on the far end, the second row, everyone turn to your right. Now you all look like you’re lined up to follow the one’s in the front row. You’re all lined up for something. Let’s now do this for the rest of the rows. Great! Now you’re all waiting in line for something. What is it?

“Well (pointing at the door to the left of the one’s in the front row) behind that door we have arranged for God himself to come. He is there waiting now to hear our about our needs, requests, questions… and one by one we’ll each enter, and have some time with him.”

“Now, you are all either engaging in your imaginations or balking at the absolute heresy of imagining that God is in the other room. So, those of you that are balking, go take a walk. Perhaps out to your vehicles, and to the local coffee shop. Could the ushers please open the doors so they can leave.”

I wonder how many would leave?

Richard J. Foster, in one of his books I’ll look up later, mentioned how he uses his imagination to pray. I found another author who mentioned it, and gave the link above.

“So, now that its just us. Each of you close your eyes, and prepare yourselves to go in that room to talk, one on one, with God…” have a seat… if you want to come some help with that preparation we have folks here to speak with, they have their Bibles ready…

Would we then actually ask them to, one by one, go into that room, through that door?

Or could we teach that it is on our gathering together that we find his presence. Indeed that there is a place for considering whether or not we are at odds with a person there.

There’s this little boy, who is gone now, he grew up, and became a man. When ever I say to (its my youngest son by the way) When ever I say to Ashton,

“I wish you coulda met that little guy, you’ve really missed out” Then he says,

“Dad, you know that I’m him, right?”

And its so true, that boy hasn’t changed, except that now he’s a man, with a beard better than mine, he’s massive, and has a much better start than I ever did. That’s to God’s credit.

Lately I’ve been feeling discouraged. By lately I mean this morning LOL.

As I contemplated its cuz I have a prayer burden or two. The underlying question for God is, “Why don’t you do something?!?!” What’s this all for if things all remain the same?!?!

Is this a case of an eclipse? Has the moon, so close to the earth that its able to block out the Sun? I’ll be right back, and illustration has come to mind…

Now, I am not worried about the fact that this has been illustrated by others, Its not my point to be profound here, I’m exploring my emotions and state of mind, and the state of my relationship with God.

You can see in that first illustration that the SUN and the problem (the red dodgeball there) when compared objectively, can be seen in their true perspective. The man standing there I’ve drawn your attention to his field of vision, its the darker blue there.

In this next frame here, I’ve moved the problem, and it blocks the view of the Sun.

I am writing this blog post in real time, and truth is unravelling as I explore it with you. You are my reader, and part of my own ‘therapy’ is writing. I wonder if I am over it yet, but in times past I would write to specific people, and they would be my muse of the moment. And then I’d send them what I’d written, with eager expectations of their input, and more times than not their reaction is to wonder why I’ve flooded their inbox with spam LOL… as I evolved, I’d let them know that I was musing, and sent it to them “just in case” it might mean something to them also. Its how I focus my thoughts, and flush out the other stuff. A deliberate parallax view. But its also a conversation. Arguably its with myself, but I sincerely believe its God interacting with me. He’s at work here.

So, while I was drawing my two pics I got a text message from a very good friend and brother of mine. Cheryl was hovering over my shoulder in a rare moment of interest in what I was writing about. She’s allowed to be disinterested. Her interest or disinterest, anyone’s actually, doesn’t validate what’s going on in my heart, or what I’m writing. So I’m here, tapping away, clicking and dragging, I read to Cheryl what I’d written so far, to explain the pics I was making, and she helped me edit some confusing bits to make the reading less effortful… so there we were communing with one another, and my buddy Art sends me a text wishing us a Happy Anniversary. We both were shocked. I picked up my phone to ask my friend how he’d gotten so confused as to think it was our anniversary, and I looked at the bottom corner of my laptop screen to check out how long it would be to our ACTUAL anniversary, and realized pretty quickly that low and behold, we actually were married 23 years ago, on November 27, 1999. We both laughed so loud and hard! We phoned him, and he was a bit incredulous about what we had to tell him. He’d just reminded us of our own anniversary. After he hung up, he ministered to us with a song, The Little River Band’s Happy Anniversary

Wasn’t I just writing about parallax? Wasn’t I just musing about how troubles, and in the case of me how OTHER PEOPLE’s troubles, keep me from appreciating the true picture?

“For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.”

Romans 1:21 NIV

I’m going to take my lovely wife out for lunch now, and then go pick up my wonderful young man, Ashton, from work. Maybe I’ll come back and give you an update 🙂

BUT before I rush away, its right there in that verse… focus on God, bring him into proper perspective, let nothing come in between you and God… put that small red rubber ball ‘the problem’ out from between you and God. That’s beginning to Glorifying God, and thankfulness must quickly follow. As we acknowledge what God is doing right.

Amen

Anxiety is so normal to me. That feeling of “something’s missing” and “oh, no!”

It’s no wonder on morning’s like this one, where peace flows in, the only way I can deal it is to picture myself in a cave, the chaos is blowing and bellowing out there, I can see it from back here, safe in the hollow of this Rock. There’s a fire burning, and my family is laying near me, fast asleep on their beds of spruce bows. Anxiety is ‘out there’ for now.

Theologians used to use the word “accidie” to describe the sin of failing to do with one’s life all that one knows one could do.

Maslow

Capacities clamor to be used, and cease their clamor only when they are used sufficiently. That is to say, capacities are needs, and therefore are intrinsic values as well. To the extent that capacities differ, so will values also differ.

Maslow

I need your patience, dear reader, because I’m fleshing out an idea. Your contribution through the comments will be eagerly embraced. So, for now, as I trundle on…

I’m reading – concurrently – “The Element” by Sir Ken Robinson (a book referred to me by my brother John) and The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van der Kolk. Previously (a book my daughter Sarah told me about)

Also, I’ve read and re-read my favourite book to quote, “Towards a Psychology of Being” Maslow (recommendation by one of my son-in-laws, Andre Fonseca)

Why is that word, “fulfillment” makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit? What ‘ism’ does it most frequently get mentioned in? Is it a useless buzz word? Just a term that gets thrown around by people who are trying to sound intelligent, and maybe that’s the part that bothers me? The apparent insincerity, or at least shallowness of its use?

Well, Ken Robinson mentions it and I find myself having allowed him and his book to continue to exist… Maslow talks about it in terms of Self Actualization… but what about God? What does he have to say about this fulfillment of who we are?

Our calling, who we are in Christ, why God invented ME – the person that I AM – is part of his plan, but not only that, the reason he created me, my purpose. First take a look at our creator. He has a plan, and he works out everything to be in conformity to it,

“In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,”

Ephesians 1:11 NIV

Don’t miss that end part:

<<< him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will >>>

So… how does this fit into Listening Obedience? That’s a topic that I’m pursuing, and have been for my whole life, it seems.

God, by way of the Holy Spirit, see John 14, is at work in us to bring us to Christ-likeness. But what was Christ like?

One mix up that occurs, even as we practice, “what would Jesus Do” is that we focus on being Jesus Copy Cats… there are problems with this. Christ himself came to earth with a very specific purpose, and he fulfilled it. He said we would accomplish, “Even greater things than these…” There are attributes of God that are not within our capacity. For example, we are not omniscient, nor capable of being so.

Have you ever heard of this event? A woman who is in the crowd, cries out and praises Jesus’ mother, and one wonders (before we read Jesus’s response) I mean, I wondered, “Wow, I guess the rest of us just cannot compete with THAT, the mother of God?!? But look at Jesus response,

²⁷ As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called out, “Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you. ²⁸ He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

Luke 11:27-28 NIV

I’ll leave that with you, if you get the connection, you get it, if you don’t… leave a comment. I’m painfully short of comments. I would like interaction, and a cup of coffee, with a bit of cream, dark roast…

Is the part we are needing to be like Christ better described as “character traits” ? The bible says that Christ’s body is made up of many parts, and therefore the many functions of the body are fulfilled by the collective members. I need to go lay down now, maybe, cuz I’m tangenting. . . so much… stay with me!!!

Christ as the Body, and that body being the Church, and Christ is the head… as each part embraces who they are… they fulfill their calling.

One constant issue that is on my heart is the virtue or use of Psychology in regards to Christians. So, we’re off the tangent, and back to the books I’ve already mentioned. If you forget, I apologize, and for the sake of brevity, scroll back up and see, then come back… I’ll wait here…

At one time I believed that they were/are rivals of one another. The age of enlightenment comes into this… but its possible that at least in part the corruption of the church – way back then – is what gave way to mankind searching for answers…

In the Book “Of Men and Numbers” There is this origin explained. Man’s search for knowledge began, among other areas, with the search for the proverbial fountain of youth. Eternal-ness without the need for God to exist, or to intervene. This collates well with the Tower of Babel, do you see? They tried to build a tower that would reach up to heaven, through human, temporal means… they tried to “go be with God” by physically building a means to get up there to reach him. But religion is no less this same error.

In “Of Men and Numbers” there is also how they discovered the elements, and eventually the periodic table of the elements. There was a hope that they could discover a means by which they could take the un-precious things like rocks and dirt, and mix them up together via some unknown recipe, into precious items like Gold and Silver.

What they ended up finding out is that atomic particles cannot be changed. That they are independently different from one another, distinct, unique, and constantly repeating synonyms won’t help me express any further, so if you don’t understand what I’m getting at, go take a ladle (used to dispense soup) and have your wife/husband smack you over the head with it and say “you’re a waste of space” and yes, that’s cruel. I apologize, but I just wanted to make sure you are listening, and still reading here.

My creative thinking is sometimes hard to follow, I admit it. Can we move on now? Each of us is our own “element” constitutionally, we are who we are, just like Gold is Gold and Carbon is carbon…

Men like Maslow called the discovery of this essence of who we are Self Actualization.

Paul spoke of pressing on to the high calling of God.

In that verse that I’ll quote below, its easy to miss it. IT is that he . . . of that which Christ took hold of me…

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

Philippians 3:12 NIV

Not that already I-Got or Already I-have-been-matured I-am-chasing yet if also I-may-be-grasping on which also I-was-grasped by the Christ

OR

Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.

The reason God took a hold of me… doesn’t this seem to be what the psychologists are talking about?

Maybe in there some place is atheism, and hostility toward God.

But there is also another possibility. That as honest men and women search for the answer… picture coming to mind is a man who puts his shovel into the ground at his feet, to search for answers… Romans 1: says that men are without excuse because creation itself is a witness of God’s existence.

Yes, psychology is in some respect the poor substitute for Faith… an inadequate attempt, just as the Tower of Babel is and Religion is. . . but all that being said, adherent behaviours, that come out of our depravity show us that there is a direction that leads to a continually increasing tumbling down the path of depravity…. See the sin list of Romans chapter one?

I see in Maslow’s work, a book which he wrote and published when he was 62 years old, he lived from 1908-1970. This book was written in the year of his death. It was the culmination of his life’s work, and is filled with his honest observations of phenomena that were both undeniable, and at times unexplainable. He discusses the conscience, for example, and how it defies searching out the origin of.

I guess what I’m getting at here is that psychology in and of itself does not necessarily have to lead us away from God. It is man’s stubborn nature, his rebelliousness that causes him to look away from what is obvious…

Romans 1:

God’s Wrath Against Sinful Humanity

¹⁸ The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, ¹⁹ since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. ²⁰ For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

So I’m very far afield of where I began it seems. Yes?

I haven’t even talked about poorly choosing Chickens… hahahaha LOL

Experiments were done, Maslow reports, on chickens, in a natural environment. There were these chickens in a farm yard, with dirt, pebbles, and stuff to eat littering the ground. Some of the chickens chose good, nutritious food, and they called them good choosers… some of them made bad choices… guess what they were called? Twits? No, that’s being ugly and cruel, they were called Poor Choosers. The good choosers grew stronger and healthier, the poor choosers were kicked out of the chicken society and formed gangs, and lived in and out of crack houses, where they ate their own eggs and . . . are you still reading this? The good choosers flourished, while the bad choosers wasted away and died. If the poor choosers were hijacked and ordered to fly to an Islamic country… oh, wait, that went bad… if the bad choosers were fed food that the good choosers would choose, they would get healthier, but still not as healthy as the good choosers themselves.

It was my dream last night…

Merely a passenger on a bus, but happily so, glad there was another to take the helm. it was not my ride, but I was there.

There were many near misses, acts of God, heavy snowfall, and ice to follow. There were uncleared streets; narrow misses with oncoming traffic, as we went back and forth on a repeated circuit, and then, they were cleared, with salt for traction, safe at last.

I got off the bus, and walked along, I looked up on the top of a small hill, where a beautiful house once stood, and felt the tragic loss, the empty spot where once was possibility.

I awoke, from these connected dreams, and realized I am entering a new phase of my mourning; of my morning.

I am ok with others carrying on with taking other people to and from their destinations.

And the empty lot, the missing house is at once symbolic of the missing houses. My brother’s home has changed forever, no longer what it was, no longer can it ever be what it once was. But then I think of my parents, gone, of her parents and their homestead gone. Are my own lost dreams in there as well?

As I looked for a picture for the feeling, I saw the one I have up above there. Do you see the sullen horizon? It gives me Joy. A storm is passing, with more work to do, once the morning breaks through.

Man: The Dwelling Place of God

I’m just sharing some challenging quotes, for me, from this book thus far.

Chapter 29 How to Try the Spirits

⁃ “Tender-hearted Christians often become victims of strong psychological pressure applied intentionally or innocently by someone’s personal testimony, or by a colourful story told by a fervent preacher who may speak with prophetic finality but who has not checked his story with the facts nor tested the soundness of his conclusions by the Word of God. Whatever originates outside the Scriptures should for that very reason be suspect until it can be shown to be in accord with them. If it should be found to be contrary to the Word of revealed truth no true Christian will accept it as being from God. However high the emotional content, no experience can be proved to be genuine unless we can find chapter and verse authority for it in the Scriptures. “To the word and to the testimony” must always be the last and final proof.”

⁃ “While true power lies not in the letter of the text but in the Spirit that inspired it, we should never underestimate the value of the letter. The text of truth has the same relation to truth as the honeycomb has to honey. One serves as a receptacle for the other. But there the analogy ends. The honey can be removed from the comb, but the Spirit of truth can not and does not operate apart from the letter of the Holy Scriptures. “For this reason a growing acquaintance with the Holy Spirit will always mean an increasing love for the Bible. The Scriptures are in print what Christ is in person. The inspired Word is like a faithful portrait of Christ. But again the figure breaks down. Christ is in the Bible as no one can be in a mere portrait, for the Bible is a book of holy ideas and the eternal Word of the Father can and does dwell in the thought He has Himself inspired.”

⁃ “A good rule is this: If this experience has served to humble me and make me little and vile in my own eyes it is of God; but if it has given me a feeling of self-satisfaction it is false and should be dismissed as emanating from self or the devil. Nothing that comes from God will minister to my pride or self-congratulation. If I am tempted to be complacent and to feel superior because I have had a remarkable vision or an advanced spiritual experience, I should go at once to my knees and repent of the whole thing. I have fallen a victim to the enemy.”

⁃ “Sometimes an earnest Christian will, after some remarkable spiritual encounter, withdraw himself from his fellow believers and develop a spirit of fault-finding. He may be honestly convinced that his experience is superior, that he is now in an advanced state of grace, and that the hoi polloi in the church where he attends are but a mixed multitude and he alone a true son of Israel. He may struggle to be patient with these religious worldlings, but his soft language and condescending smile reveal his true opinion of them – and of himself. This is a dangerous state of mind, and the more dangerous because it can justify itself by the facts. The brother has had a remarkable experience; he has received some wonderful light on the Scriptures; he has entered into a joyous land unknown to him before. And it may easily be true that the professed Christians with whom he is acquainted are worldly and dull and without spiritual enthusiasm. It is not that he is mistaken in his facts that proves him to be in error, but that his reaction to the facts is of the flesh. His new spirituality has made him less charitable.”

CHAPTER 30: RELIGIOUS BOREDOM

That there is something gravely wrong with evangelical Christianity today is not likely to be denied by any serious minded person acquainted with the facts. Just what is wrong is not so easy to determine. In examining the situation myself I find nature and reason in conflict within me, for I tend by temperament to want to settle everything with a sweep of the pen. But reason advises caution; nothing is that simple, and we must be careful to distinguish cause from effect. As every doctor knows there is a wide difference between the disease and the symptoms; and every Christian knows that there is a big difference between cause and effect in the sphere of religion.”

Here’s the song, <click> for those of you who’ve never heard it

“What A Fool Believes” a song by the Doobie Brothers

He came from somewhere back in her long ago
The sentimental fool don’t see
Tryin’ hard to recreate
What had yet to be created once in her life
She musters a smile
For his nostalgic tale
Never coming near what he wanted to say
Only to realize
It never really was

She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He’s watching her go

But what a fool believes he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
And nothing at all keeps sending him…

Somewhere back in her long ago
Where he can still believe there’s a place in her life
Someday, somewhere, she will return

She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He’s watching her go

But what a fool believes he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
There’s nothing at all
But what a fool believes he sees…

What a Fool Believes

The line:
But what a fool believes he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
And nothing at all keeps sending him…

Brings to mind the ending of The Great Gatsby. Its only in reading the book that you can truly get the impact of these final words…

And as I sat there brooding on the old, unknown world, I thought of Gatsby’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Daisy’s dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night.

Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter–tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And one fine morning—- So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

The Great Gatsby

“What A Fool Believes” is about the ability of us, as human beings, to continually believe in what we think we see, against all proofs otherwise. Only a woman, or a man, who has experienced a person who no matter what. . .

Any and all words are taken as an encouragement, that there is still hope… we hope our desire will come to fruition… and it’s a fool that believes it . . . The song is about a Fool who doesn’t realize that whatever chance he had with this woman… never actually came into being, never mind hoping that it can be rekindled.

Satan’s task is to keep us believing in our idea, our GREEN light… to use a God given ability to hope against hope… but when our hope is in a lie… that’s where the tragedy comes in. That’s why The Great Gatsby is such an incredible book.

The Green light symbolized Gatsby’s HOPE to go back in time and get Betsy for his wife, and then, once that was accomplished, to live the life he’d dreamt of having with her…

We learn during flashbacks that he had happened to meet her, they fell in love, and had plans, but he got called away to be a soldier in the war. Again, because of the war, they got out of touch, and she gave up waiting for him, and married another man. When he finally made it back, and learned what had happened, he didn’t give up. He just renewed his pursuit. He set about to get what he needed to win her back. Wealth… but the book explains that he was missing something else… and that’s why you need to read the book, cuz it takes so much longer to explain THAT missing piece.

…he never realized how hopeless it was all along… that he was missing the one ingredient, that he could never ever get to have, and that is the void, empty heart that Betsy, and those of her ilk, had… our story teller… the main character in the book, tells us that Gatsby just wasn’t like them. The reason he couldn’t fit in was because he had a heart, and they were heartless… it was a mismatch…

So also when we who are born in God’s image, who have a heart after God… cannot ever succeed in the world, because of the light of Glory within us… we cannot be depraved…. Because we have his spirit living within us… but we CAN strive endlessly against the current, each wave picking us up and dropping us back where we were…

Are you swimming toward the shore? Or toward an empty dream?

I pray that you will get sick and tired of the pattern, and turn to God in HOPE, because I know he waits there with open arms to greet you…

Richard J. Foster wrote a book on prayer, and in it he gives the OK to using my imagination to pray. It was good to hear that. I didn’t need to have permission, I had learned in my life to do what ever it takes to break through the muss and tangled mess in my mind to pray. To reach beyond my limitations to gain access to him. To draw near to God.

I have certain images in my mind that depict various thoughts conveyed to me by God. That’s a pretty bold statement, isn’t it? To think that a thought or image is from God himself, I mean.

1 Thessalonians 5:?? comes to mind. To test everything, hold on to the good, and run from evil. Is that what it says?

Final Instructions and Benediction
12 We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, 13 and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. 14 And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle,[c] encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. 15 See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies, 21 but test everything; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil.

I Thessalonians 5:12-21

In a darkened confessional a man confesses to his priest that he watches Reels.

In one of my favourite Reels a young man shows you a Tik Tok video, then asks, “Does that really work?” and he tries what has been demo’d in the video, and it passes or fails based on his experience, live on camera. Its the same idea as myth busters, only small scale.

Squirrel… I noticed that in Daring To Draw Near, John White uses allusions to literature without mapping it out for the reader. One would have to notice the wisdom, or strangeness of a statement like “out out damn spot” to isolate it, and search for the origin of it. The origin is from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, and the words are spoken by Lady MacBeth.

Out, damned spot, out, I say. — One, two — why,

then, ’tis time to do’t. — Hell is murky. — Fie, my

lord, fie, a soldier, and afeard! What need we

fear who knows it, when none can call our power to

account? Yet who would have thought the old man

to have had so much blood in him?

Lady Macbeth, Macbeth Act 5, scene 1, lines 30–34

As you can see I am driven to talk down to my reader, I guess, not believing for a second that they’ve read anything. But, on second look at myself, without being so harsh on myself I mean, I am speaking to a young person, and by pointing to the origin of a quote that has come into play I am doing a couple of things. First and foremost I am making sure that I don’t get the credit for the quoted bit of wisdom, and secondly I am pointing that person to a whole body of work from which they can gather their own knowledge, and thirdly I am enticing my reader and/or listener, to read! Earl F. Palmer does this in his preaching, and I have gained so much by jotting down a book title from which he’s quoted, and reading such books as “One Day In The Life of Ivan Denisovich” and “Les Miserables“. I do the same with movies, sort of. If I enjoy a movie, for example, by Denzel Washington, I will look for other movies by him available on my favourite streaming media platform.

In a recent email to a new friend I wrote:

Nice to hear from you. I’m doing well. My latest book is “Daring To Draw Near” by John White (1977) I gave it to a young man who rode my bus during the last week of my being a bus driver. I guess it must be somewhere in the realm of Matthew 7:1-6… taking one’s own advice. Long story short… I read that book in my teenage years, and it is expositional teaching on some major prayers of the bible. The young man I gave it to is Jacob. Anyways, I thought of once again reading it myself, and as it turns out, God had a message for me, too.

Quit pointing out and talking about the dents in your car, is a word for me, and for you. 

I am an intercessor, that’s one of my spiritual gifts. When I got to chapter 8 of 12 chapters, I once again found myself “longing to be like that” and realizing that God planted the seed way back then. I think Psalm 139 teaches us that the way we will be in life is programmed or pre-wired into us in the womb by our creator. White points out that Daniel was bothered by what he saw going on in the world around him. And he took it to God in prayer. He didn’t try to soothe, nor mask, nor eliminate the tension. The tension is a call to prayer, and the very posture of prayer.

Last night I had a dream about my oldest daughter that I am trying to unravel, that’s why I’ve been up since 3:30 am. I lay in denial until about 4:00 am, then got up, made coffee and . . . here I am. 🙂

<<<<<

Things I think my daughter needs to know:

1) her daddy, that’s me, is flesh and blood weak, but Spiritually strong 

2) is praying, interceding for her

3) I will not articulate it in English, but I will pray in the spirit 

I do not pray so that the burden will be lifted from me, but I pray with the Joy of being included in the fight

God would say this to you:

He is your strong tower, and you are his swift arrow, and a sword to feared, that he wields! 

The task you have been called to will not break you, because YOU are his workmanship!!! You are forged in the fire of Gods forge! You will not break, because HE is mighty that has called you.

Even so, not in your own strength… kneel before him, look and see… there are huge doors which lay between you and his throne room… as you pound on them, they yield… you run through them… past the palace guards, and into his very presence, and you throw yourself into the folds of his flowing robes… your height is shorter than his shins… and as you weep, and hold on against the family expectation of the guards trying to pry you away, God lifts his hand and bids them to leave off… and with his other hand he gently holds your head, and without a word, you know his love, and peace, and that it is ok, to let all of your troubles and sorrows flow through your tears… soaked up by his robe… absolutely weak in his presence, to go forth strong in HIS MIGHT

like Sampson when his hair started to grow again, and he asked that young man to help him to stand between the two pillars that supported the building… 

Intercessory prayer

God woke me up this morning, and instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, I got out of bed… to meet with God, alone

The dream that woke me up was about you.

I was yelling commands to my children down a well LOL or a mineshaft… they all felt safe to be disobedient and rebellious… so I climbed down the pipe to confront them… they burrowed into rooms and closed the doors, but you just lay there on your bed, and as I lay you across my lap to give you a good spanking, I relented… because you were passive and non-combative… and I gave you a symbolic smack, stood you on your feet, and held you close to me as you nestled your head into my shoulder. I “knew” all your sins without words needing to be spoken, and I prayed for you? Well, I held you, loved you, forgave you, and was strong for you.

>>>>>

My daughter is wife of her husband, and mother to 5 children, and a foster child, that makes 6. She carries the weight of the world on her shoulders, ably.

I’m examining my dream, its from God, but it comes from deep inside my heart. I’ll let you know more as things come to light.

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I went to see Glenn yesterday, and we went out to Walmart to pick out an Air Fryer for him, and some food for an in-home cooking demo. Then Ashton and I went back to his place and showed him how to cook chicken and potato wedges with his new appliance! He loves it!

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The significance of being awakened to pray is that God has often tried to rekindle this calling…. and I have resisted, not so much out of rebellion, but more along the lines of refusing to throw off the guilt of my past deeds. The image of Sampson btwn the pillars is one of a man who is blinded and bald. . .  and imprisoned. Too late! It screams, one final act before I die! But there’s a lie in there. Christ is the one who was led between the pillars, so that we might walk in obedience to do the work he has called us to do.

Did you ever stop to think that the book of Ephesians is written to a group, not an individual? So when we quote Ephesians 2:8-10. . . . the YOU  is plural?8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them

https://www.scripture4all.org/OnlineInterlinear/NTpdf/eph2.pdf

you can see that the word “you” is translated more properly as “ye”

I grew up not knowing this. And I think it is borrowed narcissism. No, wait, maybe its taught! Yes, I would say it is. There’s obviously the message that the world pumps out. The super hero, alone to go save the world. 

Quit being so caught up in your own mess! Get up out of that scene, and see yourself like God sees you! And part of that message is that we are not alone, we are a part of the body of Christ. But that being “a part of” is necessarily from effort, from intentionality. 

thank you for being a part of the body of Christ, and for answering my email. 

Poetry is sometimes a contrived, awkward effort. This photo is poetry, and it was staged, but it really says so much.

Ashton and Cheryl had come to ride with me on my final trip as a Coast Mountain Bus Driver, and I needed to pee. I mean, we got back to the depot, and all I wanted to do was get to the washroom to pee, but Cheryl wanted a pic, she had this final pic in her mind, the one you see up there. I was about to launch into the next chapter of my life. Stepping off of transit, and into . . . what? The props came from another bus driver, he’d come to work early and set up my bus for me, adorning it with the banner and balloon that said “Happy Retirement”. I feared it LOL I was afraid somebody might do that, but it was more like I was afraid nobody would. So I drove my last 6 hours and 33 minutes as a bus driver with these banners and that balloon bobbing around my work space. Folks I, didn’t even know, cared expressed their regret, and bade me good will.

Its profoundly poetic that I needed to pee. Its the part of the job I won’t miss. Having to wait to go pee LOL. Re-grouping at the end of the line it takes to make it through this job.

I look disarrayed, and shambled, but I’m a happy man. My fellow operators helped me through, and two examples are Monica, and Tat.

Tat Lai…

a fellow bus driver who was sent to me by God to help me through my final weeks. He started my bus for me each morning, and I would write a smiley face on the back of his bus, something I did for a prank one of the first days of the sheet.

All the things I ever remember about supporting one another as drivers in a sometimes hostile world, Tat and I demonstrated over the last few months, actually. I can’t remember the last time I ever signed the same work two sheets in row, except these last couple of sheets, I did. I was getting ready to go. The comfort of the “known” as I prepared for the relative unknown of retirement.

Thank You, Tat you did nothing more nor less than be a fellow driver, spreading around happiness. I know I’ve left transit in good hands with folks like you around.

So, for those of you who might know what comradery looks like I’ll tell you a story about another driver friend of Tat and I, Monica…

As each of us deal with the daily ordeal of suffering through life, we can become isolated, and withdrawn. But with Guys like Tat and I around, you get pulled out of your gloom, reluctantly more times than not, and we put a smile on your face. Monica is such a story.

Way back when I first met her, I’d ride her 403 from Richmond Transit Centre to Brighouse for my afternoon tripper, and because it was a 403 I’d sit at the back. Its a very busy run, and to stand at the front and chat just doesn’t do anyone any good. But as I left the bus each day, I’d call our farewell to her by saying, “Goodbye Wendy!” So that she would get a bit of a laugh, and nobody else would know her real name. Lets not get too personal with the public LOL. Well, that became her name when ever I’d see her, and she called me Bart. She said that the public would even start to greet and say goodbye to her with her new “bus name”.

Well, over the years Tat and I would see her, and sneak up on her, and take photos of her and send them to her. To send cheer. Innocent fun to break up our ever so serious lives…

It was always a break from sitting around belly aching about the job, or the trauma of our lives, which we never really did with one another anyways.

That picture above was just such a day. She was sitting over off to the side at Bridgeport Station bus loop, chatting with another driver who refused to be photograped LOL… and Tat and I jumped on to get some pictures with her. I’m glad Paul was there to act as photographer for us 🙂

Such are the memories of my job, on this first morning of the rest of my life, April 1, 2022…

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