I suppose it could be regarded as vanity, supposing my making a point of counting how many books I’ve read, and what I’ve read. It is an accomplishment of a different sort though. The number isn’t to impress you in the usual way. It gives weight to how much I would recommend YOU read. I’m up to 106 books now, and that’s not including audio podcasts like Freakonomics Radio show, and the sermons of Earl Palmer and countless sermons from this website, which include a radio show called The Prince of Preachers, where a man named Charles Koelsch read the archived sermons of Charles Haddon Spurgeon, bringing them to life! I’ve included in my book list a book written about him called Bright Days, Dark Nights. But, it might seem I’ve digressed from ‘books’ in speaking of these audio recordings. Being a good listener has been for me a polite thing to pursue, because it is so difficult. I have a good friend that God put in my life, Arthur Ferreira, who is a talented listener. His effect on me is profound, and has made one of my aspirations to be a good listener.
It was a couple of years ago that my two brothers, Andrew and John, introduced me to the audio book format through a website, Librivox. I’d already heard of and made use of Gutenberg.org, and that enabled me to read even more. I am an auditory learner. So even now if I read a book with an eReader like Kindle or Kobo, or an actual physical book, reading outloud to myself results in much better comprehension.
I had a hard time with books for two reasons. For a large portion of my life I didn’t see my anxiety disorder as being a thing distinct from myself. I thought of it as just a part of me, as in it was something to yield to, rather than something to overcome. But when you yield to anxiety, it swallows you up, and pushes you down. When I saw the movie A Beautiful Mind, with Russel Crow, from the book of the same title about the mathematician, John Forbes Nash, Jr. He is more of an example of schizophrenia, but I see my anxiety as thoughts which I do not own, and treat as separate from my true self. The Bible talks about holding our thoughts captive. I still have the anxious thoughts, but do not obey them, for want of a better way of expressing it. Anxiety manifested itself in how I viewed books, in that I feared that if I read a book, I’d lose my own mind, and become brain washed by the author of that book, and most importantly I would somehow lose God. It at last sounds ridiculous to me now, but as is always the case, an unchallenged thought is a like a dream where it all makes sense, until you wake up. Waking up from a dream, is parallel to confronting an anxiety, and instead believing and obeying the TRUTH. It’s the difference between walking according to my own understanding, and walking by faith. But that’s another topic altogether.
But so far I’ve only partially described my difficulty with reading. In High School I was to have read Crime and Punishment. I got part way through it, and got completely messed up, psychologically. I felt the guilt of the main character. Maybe it’s because I’m such an empathetic person, maybe because Dostoevsky is such a good writer! But I had to put it down to put myself out of my misery. I tried again many years later, same thing happened again, and maybe a couple times more, then finally about 10 years ago maybe, I made up my mind that I would do it! And I did do it! I found that the best way to describe my experience with that book as being crucified, and resurrected! Put to death and healed again! It’s utterly awe inspiring book.
From that book it was like I had a new suit of armour with which I could take on every book, and I eagerly read every book I choose. But the armour in all actuality is the armour of God…
Because it wasn’t all bad, not reading books for most of my life. For the one book I DID read was the bible, and as a consequence I know my bible better than most people I know. And again, that’s not to brag, its actually a frustration because I love to discuss the bible, and people I talk with get distracted by my knowledge of it, and/or intimidated by it. That part cannot be helped. But the benefit of knowing the bible so well is that as I read about the world through the eyes of authors both secular and Christian, I am able to better discern the truth, and appreciate the points of view expressed. Most of all it is the Holy Spirit that preserves me, and keeps me close. God is true to his promise expressed in John 14:26.
But that is merely scratching the surface of what reading will do for you! I also find that it connects me with others, because I am better able to understand others, because I’m not afraid of listening to them tell me their point of view. The beliefs and world view of people are for the most part a passive experience, in that they haven’t really sat down and thought it all the way through. They think that they are independent thinkers, but really, they have been influenced in one way or another by films, magazines, TV shows, news media, and the books they’ve read. Stephen Covey talks about this in his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Habit 5 is Seek first to understand, before seeking to be understood. Instead of a finding a world far from God, I find a world working out their version of the meaning of life. Every single one of us has to make up our minds about the one fact… we are all going to die. Life comes to an end one day for all of us. And along the way, our youth gives way to old age, our one time abilities fade away, and we are no longer quite so able. Trouble comes, and threatens our peaceful, blissful dancing around in the garden… and life becomes serious.
But now I’m rambling…
One more thing before you read on here… the way I’ve chosen what to read has been no way in particular. At first it was to read the books I was suppose to have read in school. Then it was to read the books recommended by others, and then as I discussed books with people they would tell me of their books, and I’d read a book they’d recommend. Andrew, John and I had a book club, and it ended up that Andrew would tell us which book we’d be reading, and I’d take part. It was a challenge. So, it stretched me, and I read outside of my comfort zone, and enlarged my point of view.
I hope to add my thoughts on each book at some point, for now all’s I can do is list them!
The Cost of Discipleship – Bonhoeffer
I’m not sure anymore if I actually made it to the end of this book, but nonetheless it’s been so long that it’s time to do it again, in order to claim having read it! The quote that keeps me going back to it is here.
This book by Sinclair Lewis is another book which I struggled to read. But it was merely because it was so well written! As we get to know the true character, the initial irritation with the man Babbit begins to fade. His persona is an expression of the ‘fake’ or ‘facade’ of the American man of the early 20th century.
When I got to the end of the book, there’s one sentence that culminates the whole book, and I burst into tears.
Another great book by Alexandre Dumas, its one of six in a series about the life of these four men of French history. I’m not sure how much fact and how much fiction, but it isn’t a story that has a Hollywood ending. One of the books is ‘The Man In The Iron Mask’ and differs pretty significantly from the movie made.
Works by Jacob Abbott:
This book was one that I found so hard to read! But it was so good to have gotten through it. The first few paragraphs ended up being a kind of poem that described the whole rest of the book.
My mother’s sister, Auntie Barbara, gave me this book upon the birth of our son, Ashton, which is the name of the protagonist in the story.
I’ve always loved this piece about a man who becomes flustered trying to do his banking. I’ve found it on-line, and have copy/pasted it here to my blog. If only because webpages come and go. The original page is here.
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Another favourite poem
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- One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
- Abbot, Jacob
- Alexander The Great
- Charles I
- Hannibal
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- Mary Queen of Scotts
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- Romulus
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- How to Read and Why
- Bonhoeffer, Dietrich
- Life Together
- The Cost of Discipleship
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- How To Win Friends and Influence People Carnegie, Dale
- Prison To Praise Carothers, Merlin R.
- Multiply Chan, Francis
- So, Anyway Cleese, John
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- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Covey, Stephen
- David Copperfield Dickens, Charles
- Great Expectations Dickens, Charles
- Crime and Punishment Dostoyevsky, Fyodor
- Brothers Karamazov Dostoyevsky, Fyodor
- The Idiot Dostoyevsky, Fyodor
- Notes From The Underground Dostoyevsky, Fyodor
- Shut Up and Eat Your Snow Shoes Douglas, Jack
- The Hound of The Baskervilles Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan
- The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan
- His Last Bow Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan
- The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan
- The Return of Sherlock Holmes Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan
- The Sign of The Four Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan
- A Study in Scarlet Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan
- The Valley of Fear Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan
- The Adventures of Gerard Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan
- The d’Artagnan Romances Dumas, Alexander
- The Count of Monte Cristo Dumas, Alexander
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- Lord of The Flies, Golding, William
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- Bear Creek Collection Volume 1 Howard, Robert E.
- Bear Creek Collection Volume 2 Howard, Robert E.
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- The Far Pavilions Kaye, M. M.
- Darkness at Noon Koestler, Arthur
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- Seven Pillars of Wisdom Lawrence, T. E.
- Adventurers of the Far North Leacock, Stephen
- My Financial Career Leacock, Stephen
- A Hero of Our Time Lemontov, Mikhail Lurevich
- The Five Dysfunctions of a Team Lencioni, Patrick
- Experiment In Criticism Lewis, C. S.
- Surprised By Joy Lewis, C. S.
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- Babbit Lewis, Sinclair
- Main Street Lewis, Sinclair
- Towards a Psychology of Being Maslow, Abraham
- Man’s Search For Himself May, Rollo
- Angela’s Ashes McCourt, Frank
- ‘Tis McCourt, Frank
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- The Craft of Modular Post and Beam Mitchell, James
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- The Man in My Basement Mosely, Walter
- White Butterfly Mosely, Walter
- Black Betty Mosely, Walter
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- The Boat Who Wouldn’t Float Mowat, Farley
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- Peter Norton: Inside the IBM PC Norton, Peter
- The Promise of Paradox Palmer, Parker J.
- The Courage to Teach Palmer, Parker J.
- A Hidden Wholeness Parker J Palmer
- The Road Less Traveled Peck, M. Scott
- Abounding Grace: An Anthology of Wisdom Peck, M. Scott
- Financial Peace Ramsey, Dave
- The Element Robinson, Ken
- The Catcher in the Rye Salinger, J. D.
- Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Scarzzero, Peter
- Studies in Pessimism Schopenhauer, Arthur
- Bright Days Dark Nights Skoglund, Elizabeth
- The God of All Comfort Smith, Hannah Whitall
- One Day In The Life of Ivan Denisovich Solzhenitsy, Aleksandr
- The Gold Finch Tartt, Donna
- Resurrection Tolstoy, Leo
- I Call It Heresy Tozer, A. W.
- The Narcissism Epidemic Twenge, Jean M.
- God’s Smuggler Van der Bijl, Andrew
- HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Managing Yourself various authors
- The Purpose Driven Life Warren, Rick
- How People Change Wheelis, Allen
- Anatomy of an Epidemic Whitaker, Robert
- Daring to Draw Near White, John
- When The Spirit Comes With Power White, John
- The Cross and the Switchblade Wilkerson, David
- The Prayer of Jabez Wilkinson, Bruce
- A life of one’s own Marion Milner
- The Obstacle Is The Way Ryan Holiday
- 12 Rules for Life Jordan B. Peterson
- Mere Christianity C. S. Lewis
- Oliver Twist Charles Dickens
- Pagan Christianity Frank Viola
- Talking to Strangers Malcolm Gladwell
- Outliers Malcolm Gladwell
- David and Goliath Malcolm Gladwell
- The Autistic Brain Temple Grandin
- Nightfall David Goodis
- Atomic Habits James Clear
- One Small Step Can Change Your Life Robert Maurer
- Misreading Scripture with Western Eyes Brandon J. O’Brien
- Foolishness To The Greeks Lesslie Newbigin
- Prayer Richard J Foster
- The Crucified Life A. W. Tozer
- Encounters With Jesus Timothy Keller
- The Book of God Walter Wangerin Jr.
- Playing With Holy Fire Michael Brown
- How to Be Filled with The Holy Spirit A. W. Tozer
- The Big Sleep Raymond Chandler
- A Beautiful Mind Sylvia Nasar
