Keep checking back… this is the “voice to text” version atm (at the moment)
The Morning
As I emerged from the McDonald’s, a sort of emotion swept over me. I had to pause, although not physically, I still put 1 foot in front of the other as I walked back towards my waiting bus. I felt around in my soul for what it was. My mind can go from a kind of emptiness to flowing inspiration when I’m in a context that provokes it.
There was a certain kind of freedom in the air, a relief of what had just happened to me, the air was cool. It’s early morning, around 6:30 AM. The traffic is light, birds are singing and I’m a free man. Very gently my mind found itself parallel to that morning that I was let out of jail.
The night before I had returned to my room at the house I was living in. It was at 17th and Cambie. My children had been phoning me and asking me where I was.
I had been at my brother Andrew‘s place. Can’t quite remember if it was as soon as I got home or shortly there after, but the police came to get me. There was a paddy wagon and a police officer. The police officer asked me a few questions and for whatever reason put me in the back of his squad car and let the paddy wagon go on its way.
On the way to the police station he asked me if my wife was a vindictive woman. I had to ask him what vindictive meant. This was 1996 I think, so 1996-1962= 34, yeah, I was 34 years old.
It’s pretty amazing to me as I think Back, he was exactly right. That’s exactly what she was and perhaps still is.
I can maybe tell the rest of the story sometime soon, but just imagine with me the horror of not knowing how she was able to stir up this giant of a force into my life. I found myself in a police station in downtown Vancouver and all around me where I’d like to say criminals but they’re innocent until proven guilty but they’re suspected of crimes and accused of crimes and they’re in the single cell 10 x 10 lock up no no seat seats. You just sit on the floor with the drain in the middle. The officer refused to put me in the lock up. He just left me out with the other officers at the desk And left. The other officers processed me somewhat, led me over to the cage and put me in with the others. The others? While there was a couple of guys sharing a crack pipe, one guy emptied the contents of his stomach onto the floor, and it looked like he had at least one pineapple Pizza. Those were the most memorable. We were soon taken to our individual cells. The fellow that I was locked up with, it was two to a cell. I took the top bug. He took the bottom bunk. I remember him asking me, “you are hype?“ I didn’t know what that meant, but it didn’t matter cause I didn’t answer him. He quit asking. Now I really should tell you that by this time I have been driving for BC Transit for about five years, and the downtown East side was nothing strange to me. But it was very frightening to me on this evening and night because I was on shield and protected from the uniform and the bus and all that comes with that. I was face-to-face raw on raw with the street. And though I’ve spoken here and perhaps your heart is racing as mine is right now, I need you to know something. I had a piece in my heart that was absolutely untouchable. The only way that I can describe it is in a picture picture of Placid calm water and I’m just above it looking down at it. I’m trying to disturb that water and I cannot. I can’t touch that water, that water was the peace in my heart. The part of me that was trying to touch that water was the panicking self my mind, my awareness of all that was going on around me, and I really can’t say I was screaming, but it was a low a low level kind of scream, screaming at my soul that I should be worried right now, but I was not. As I think of it now that Com was Jesus sleeping in my boat. That Peace sustained me. As I continue to observe the things that went on two things stand out always we were perhaps in cell block with five cells on either side so 20 individuals who have been arrested altogether. One in the far left had smuggled Valium into the cell block with a condom in his orifice. And he had some paper and a McDonald’s stir stick spoon which they don’t even have anymore, which I’ve heard measure out exactly 1 ounce. And if you rolled a loony across the floor to him, he would dispense into a piece of paper of 1 ounce hit of Valium. I didn’t have a dollar with me, I also lacked the inclination to have anything to do with that. The fellow on the far right when the morning came and our bologna sandwiches arrived, bologna sandwich? Well what it was was two slices of white bread with a slice of baloney. But one fellow was eating fresh fruit, and the others asked how the heck he got that, and he told them well next time just tell him your diabetic and they have to give you this better food. Immediately thought what are you talking about next time!? Here they were planning how to make better use of their time in jail next time. I was still wondering how she did it, how she got me locked up, how did I end up this way?
I’ve been wondering how to tell my story and perhaps this is the best way to start is on this fresh new morning as I head towards the day that’s ahead of me.
One thing that every morning lacks is what am I going to deal with the day? Because I really don’t know. I have an idea. I have hopes and goals things that I know I need to get done, but nothing that’s actually scheduled or planned. I’m not preaching about that. I’m just saying that’s how it is.
I want to write and tell my story. The motivation comes from knowing that, although I was alone that day, alone, the night before, I only mean that there was no other human being that I had direct contact with to support me. I had God by his sweet Holy Spirit, abiding in me as I abide in him. There’s a first and we can look it up. It talks about the peace that passes all understanding ruling in your heart. And for lots of reasons, I would never trade what I’ve been through for anything, but that’s one of the biggest reasons. Revelation 1211 talks about overcoming the enemy of our souls the red dragon that’s described in the beginning of chapter 12. And they overcame him by the blood of the lamb and the word of the testimony they love not their lives so much as to shrink from death.
If this is a book that’s emerging from me, it’s going to be about versus like that, versus like Matthew 6:33–34. And Hebrews 5:11–14. I don’t have to worry about anything, not about what I’m going to do for God or what I need to provide for myself or all the what if that anxiety has to declare to me, because I know that he has me in the hollow of his hand, John chapter 15!
So let this be the preference, let it begin, our father, who Arts and Heaven hallelujah be the name the kingdom come they will be done on earth as it is in heaven, and give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who against us And lead us not to temptation, but deliver us from evil. Forth as the kingdom, the power and the glory forever endeavour I’m in.
So…
1) this is back in 1996
2) first wife (the ex)
3) she filed for divorce and threatened me with retaliation if I did anything but “go along with it”
4) I very quickly realized that I no longer needed her, but could never let go of my kids
5) I fought for my rights with them, by speaking up one day in particular
– she was to pick up the kids at 3:00 pm, but was 2 hrs late, on a sunny hot afternoon, my 4 kids crawled around on the front porch bored
- I told her this could not happen again
- that night the cops came to get me
- I found out later through the courts that she had Told the police that I had threatened to kill her and the children
- interesting to point out that then recent case of criminal harassment had just been in the news, the atmosphere was ripe for law enforcement to act on women’s complaints about men abusing them
My criminal lawyer and family divorce lawyer were in the same law office, for my defence my criminal lawyer sent crown council my divorce case files
- the response was the charges were stayed, never went to trial
- her pattern of blatant lies to defame me in order to get what she wanted from the courts was notable
- in the meantime she used the system to put her into protective custody and they moved her into BC’s interior
- her plan was to no longer have me within reach of the kids, so that she didn’t have to give them to me on weekends
There is what is called a section 15 report with a forensic psychologist who cut through all her crap, and recommend joint custody, but by this time she’d “settled into” the Salmon Arm community and she succeeded in that area
- she refused to bring them to her appointments to be examined by the psychologist
- she was charged with contempt of court, and spent 24 hrs of real jail as a consequence
Running Down Vimy 